West B Writing: Revision and Editing Skills Questions and Answers — Questions and Answers
Question 1: Read the sentences below. 'The city council approved the new park project. The project will begin next spring. It includes a playground and a walking trail.' Which of the following is the BEST way to combine these sentences to improve flow and conciseness?
- The city council approved the new park project, and it will begin next spring, including a playground and a walking trail.
- Including a playground and walking trail, the city council approved the new park project that will begin next spring.
- The city council approved the new park project, which will begin next spring and include a playground and a walking trail. (Correct answer)
- The city council approved the new park project, it will begin next spring, it includes a playground and a walking trail.
Correct answer: The city council approved the new park project, which will begin next spring and include a playground and a walking trail.
This option effectively combines the three short sentences into one clear, complex sentence using a relative clause ('which will begin...'). It avoids the choppiness of the original and the awkward phrasing or grammatical errors of the other options. Option A is grammatically acceptable but less fluid. Option B awkwardly places the introductory phrase. Option D creates a comma splice.
Question 2: A writer is revising a draft for clarity and conciseness. Which of the following sentences should be revised to eliminate redundancy?
- The committee will collaborate on the joint project.
- The final outcome of the experiment was unexpected.
- She was a new innovator in the field of biotechnology.
- The basic essentials for the camping trip include a tent and a sleeping bag. (Correct answer)
Correct answer: The basic essentials for the camping trip include a tent and a sleeping bag.
The phrase 'basic essentials' is redundant because 'essentials' are by definition basic necessities. The sentence could be more concisely written as 'The essentials for the camping trip...' or 'The basic items for the camping trip...'. The other options, while they might be slightly wordy, do not contain clear redundancies.
Question 3: Read the sentence below. 'Covered in thick, bubbling cheese, the family eagerly awaited the pizza.' Which revision most effectively corrects the misplaced modifier in the sentence?
- The family eagerly awaited the pizza covered in thick, bubbling cheese. (Correct answer)
- Eagerly awaiting the pizza, the family was covered in thick, bubbling cheese.
- The pizza was covered in thick, bubbling cheese, and the family eagerly awaited it.
- Covered in thick, bubbling cheese, the pizza was eagerly awaited by the family.
Correct answer: The family eagerly awaited the pizza covered in thick, bubbling cheese.
The original sentence has a misplaced modifier, suggesting the family is covered in cheese. The correct answer moves the modifying phrase 'covered in thick, bubbling cheese' so that it is directly next to 'the pizza,' which it is intended to describe. Options B and D, while grammatically correct, are less direct and use passive voice unnecessarily.
Question 4: Which of the following sentences contains a comma splice?
- The museum was crowded, so we decided to visit the sculpture garden instead.
- The concert was fantastic, the band played all of their most popular songs. (Correct answer)
- Although the trail was steep, the view from the summit was worth the climb.
- The storm passed quickly; the sun was shining again within an hour.
Correct answer: The concert was fantastic, the band played all of their most popular songs.
This sentence contains a comma splice because it joins two independent clauses ('The concert was fantastic' and 'the band played...') with only a comma. This error can be corrected by replacing the comma with a period, a semicolon, or by adding a coordinating conjunction (like 'and'). The other options show correct punctuation.
Question 5: Read the passage below. 'The company invested heavily in new marketing strategies. ______, its quarterly sales figures showed a significant decline.' Which transitional word or phrase, if inserted in the blank, would best link the two sentences?
- For example
- Furthermore
- Consequently
- Nevertheless (Correct answer)
Correct answer: Nevertheless
The two sentences present a contrast: a positive action (investing in marketing) is followed by a negative result (sales decline). 'Nevertheless' is a transitional word that indicates contrast or opposition, making it the most logical choice to connect these two ideas.
Question 6: Which of the following sentences contains an error in parallel structure?
- The new manager is responsible for hiring new staff, training employees, and the evaluation of performance. (Correct answer)
- She spent the afternoon reading a book, listening to music, and sipping tea.
- The goals of the project are to increase efficiency, reduce costs, and improve customer satisfaction.
- He wanted either to finish his degree in the fall or to find a full-time job.
Correct answer: The new manager is responsible for hiring new staff, training employees, and the evaluation of performance.
This sentence violates parallel structure because it lists three responsibilities but uses different grammatical forms: two gerund phrases ('hiring new staff,' 'training employees') and one noun phrase ('the evaluation of performance'). To be parallel, the third item should be a gerund phrase as well, such as 'evaluating performance.'
West B Writing: Revision and Editing Skills Questions and Answers
Read the sentences below.
'The city council approved the new park project.
The project will begin next spring.
It includes a playground and a walking trail.'
Which of the following is the BEST way to combine these sentences to improve flow and conciseness?