Self-Awareness & Inner Work Flashcards

Of the 'four ears' (choices for receiving a hard message), which one is associated with guilt, shame, and depression?

Answer: Blaming ourselves

Taking a message as self-criticism (blaming ourselves) tends to produce guilt, shame, and depression.

Which way of receiving a hard message is self-empathy?

Answer: Noticing your own feelings and needs triggered by the message

Self-empathy means turning attention to our own feelings and needs when we hear a difficult message.

An NVC trainer notices she keeps saying 'I can't' about setting boundaries with a co-trainer. What inner work fits NVC best?

Answer: Translate it into 'I choose not to … because I'm afraid of …' and explore the needs

Reframing 'can't' as a choice shows the fears and needs behind it and brings back a sense of choice.

When a practitioner finds a need of their own isn't met, what does NVC suggest doing internally before making a request?

Answer: Fully connect with the need and the feelings around it

Connecting with the need first helps the request come from connection rather than urgency or demand.

What is the main difference between a need and a strategy in self-awareness work?

Answer: Needs are universal; strategies are specific ways to meet them

Needs are universal human qualities, while strategies are specific actions, people, or times chosen to meet them.

In NVC, celebrating ourselves when we meet our own needs mainly serves to:

Answer: Connect with the needs that were met and the feelings that come with it

NVC celebration focuses on the needs met and the joy felt, not on praise or evaluation.

Why does NVC see praise like 'Good job, you're a great trainer' as limited, even toward ourselves?

Answer: It's a judgment that doesn't say which needs were met

Positive judgments are still evaluations; NVC appreciation names actions, feelings, and the needs met.