Self-Awareness & Inner Work Flashcards

In NVC, how does Rosenberg define 'mourning' after we've acted in a way we regret?

Answer: Fully connecting with the feelings and unmet needs stirred by our action

NVC mourning means fully connecting with the feelings and unmet needs that came up because of our own past action, without blaming ourselves.

What is the second step of NVC self-forgiveness, which comes after mourning?

Answer: Connecting with the need you were trying to meet when you took the action

Self-forgiveness happens when we connect with the need we were trying to meet through the behavior we now regret.

A trainee says, 'I'm so stupid for forgetting the meeting.' What is the most NVC-consistent inner translation?

Answer: 'I'm disappointed because I value reliability and respect for others' time.'

Translating a self-judgment into feelings and needs (disappointment, reliability) turns it into self-empathy.

According to Rosenberg, which motivation is NOT one he recommends avoiding when choosing actions?

Answer: Contributing to life because you value it

Rosenberg encourages acting from a desire to contribute to life, not from money, approval, punishment, shame, guilt, or duty.

In the 'have to' to 'choose to' exercise, what is the final step?

Answer: Complete the sentence 'I choose to … because I want …'

The exercise reframes obligations by naming the choice and the need it serves: 'I choose to … because I want …'.

Rosenberg described a judgmental inner voice that uses shame and guilt as which kind of self-education?

Answer: Violent self-education that breeds self-hatred

Rosenberg contrasted self-education driven by shame and guilt with self-education based on compassion for unmet needs.

Which inner statement best shows the NVC idea that stimulus is different from cause?

Answer: 'When he interrupted, I felt frustrated because I need to be heard.'

The other person's action is the stimulus; the cause of the feeling is our own need.