Marriage Sabotaged Marriage 2 — Questions and Answers
Question 1: Which behavior is a classic sign that a spouse is unconsciously sabotaging intimacy?
- Starting arguments right before planned romantic moments (Correct answer)
- Disagreeing about household chores
- Preferring different hobbies
- Having separate friend groups
Correct answer: Starting arguments right before planned romantic moments
Picking fights immediately before planned intimacy is a common unconscious tactic that creates emotional distance and avoids vulnerability.
Question 2: A spouse repeatedly 'forgets' important dates like anniversaries and birthdays. This pattern most likely indicates:
- A busy schedule
- A possible form of passive sabotage through emotional neglect (Correct answer)
- Different cultural backgrounds
- Simple absent-mindedness that is harmless
Correct answer: A possible form of passive sabotage through emotional neglect
Consistent 'forgetting' of meaningful dates can signal a lack of investment or subconscious withdrawal from the relationship.
Question 3: What does 'weaponized incompetence' look like in a marriage?
- Refusing to learn how to drive
- Deliberately doing tasks poorly so a partner stops asking for help (Correct answer)
- Forgetting grocery lists occasionally
- Preferring a partner handle all finances
Correct answer: Deliberately doing tasks poorly so a partner stops asking for help
Weaponized incompetence is intentionally performing tasks badly to avoid responsibility, shifting the burden entirely to one's partner.
Question 4: A partner consistently undermines the other's decisions in front of their children. This is an example of:
- Healthy co-parenting debate
- Triangulating children into marital conflict (Correct answer)
- Normal disagreement about parenting styles
- Authoritative parenting
Correct answer: Triangulating children into marital conflict
Undermining a partner's authority in front of children brings kids into adult conflicts and erodes the unified parental front.
Question 5: Which of the following represents a 'moving the goalposts' pattern in marriage?
- Changing household rules as children age
- Continually raising expectations after a partner meets the previous ones (Correct answer)
- Negotiating financial goals annually
- Updating a shared bucket list
Correct answer: Continually raising expectations after a partner meets the previous ones
Moving the goalposts means a dissatisfied partner keeps changing what they claim to need, making satisfaction impossible and setting up the spouse to fail.
Question 6: How does excessive criticism differ from constructive feedback in a marriage?
- Constructive feedback is louder
- Excessive criticism attacks character while constructive feedback addresses specific behavior (Correct answer)
- Excessive criticism focuses on future improvement
- Constructive feedback is always delivered privately
Correct answer: Excessive criticism attacks character while constructive feedback addresses specific behavior
Excessive criticism targets who a person is, while constructive feedback targets what a person does and how it can be improved.
Question 7: A spouse shares private marital details with extended family to gain sympathy. This is called:
- Venting
- Triangulation (Correct answer)
- Overcommunication
- Boundary setting
Correct answer: Triangulation
Triangulation involves pulling a third party into the marital dynamic to shift alliances, apply pressure, or avoid direct resolution.
Marriage Sabotaged Marriage 2
Which behavior is a classic sign that a spouse is unconsciously sabotaging intimacy?