Relationship Dynamics & Conflict Resolution Flashcards

A relationship coach is working with a couple where both partners consistently interpret each other's neutral behaviors as hostile. This cognitive pattern is BEST described as:

Answer: Negative attribution bias

Negative attribution bias involves consistently attributing negative intentions to a partner's neutral or ambiguous behaviors, which fuels conflict and erodes trust over time.

Which of the following BEST illustrates the difference between a 'position' and an 'interest' in relationship conflict?

Answer: 'I want to move to Seattle' (position) vs. 'I need to feel closer to family' (interest)

A position is what someone says they want (a fixed demand), while an interest is the underlying need or motivation behind it; multiple solutions can satisfy an interest even if the stated position can't be met.

In relationship coaching, a 'repair attempt' during conflict is BEST defined as:

Answer: Any verbal or nonverbal action intended to de-escalate tension during a conflict

Repair attempts are any action—humor, a touch, saying 'I need a moment'—that tries to reduce conflict intensity; Gottman found that successful repair attempts, not the absence of conflict, distinguish stable couples.

A couple reports they never fight but also never feel emotionally close. A relationship coach would MOST likely explore whether they are:

Answer: Using conflict avoidance as a way to maintain distance and avoid intimacy

Complete absence of conflict combined with emotional distance often signals conflict avoidance as a defense against intimacy; true validator couples still engage with difficult topics, just more calmly.

When one partner in a conflict uses 'you' statements like 'You always make me feel worthless,' the relationship coach should redirect them to:

Answer: Using 'I' statements that describe their own feelings and specific observations

'I' statements (e.g., 'I feel hurt when...') replace blame with personal expression, reducing defensiveness and keeping communication focused on resolvable issues rather than character attacks.

Differentiation in relationship systems theory refers to a person's ability to:

Answer: Maintain a clear sense of self while staying emotionally connected in relationships

Differentiation, a concept developed by Murray Bowen, is the capacity to remain a distinct individual with one's own values and identity while also sustaining genuine emotional intimacy with a partner.

A relationship coach observes that a client consistently describes conflict scenarios where they are entirely blameless and their partner is entirely at fault. The coach's MOST effective response is to:

Answer: Gently introduce questions that invite the client to consider their own role in the dynamic

Consistently one-sided accounts often reflect a lack of self-reflection; effective coaches use Socratic questioning to gently help clients explore their own contribution to relationship patterns without shaming them.