Relationship Dynamics & Conflict Resolution Flashcards

A client says their partner always brings up past grievances during current arguments. As a coach, you recognize this as which problematic conflict behavior?

Answer: Kitchen-sinking

Kitchen-sinking (also called 'kitchen sink fighting') occurs when someone piles unrelated past grievances into a current argument rather than addressing the immediate issue.

In Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples, the primary goal of the de-escalation phase is to:

Answer: Help partners understand their negative interaction cycle as the shared enemy

In EFT's de-escalation phase, the coach or therapist helps both partners see the negative interaction cycle itself—not each other—as the problem they need to address together.

Which attachment style is MOST likely to lead a person to use emotional withdrawal as a conflict resolution strategy?

Answer: Dismissive-avoidant attachment

Individuals with dismissive-avoidant attachment tend to suppress emotional needs and withdraw during conflict as a way to maintain self-sufficiency and avoid vulnerability.

When a couple reports that one partner always 'wins' arguments because the other eventually gives in to end the conflict, a relationship coach should FIRST address:

Answer: The underlying power imbalance and what maintains it

The persistent pattern of one partner 'winning' signals a power imbalance that likely has structural or attachment-related roots; addressing only communication skills without the underlying dynamic will be ineffective.

The 'demand-withdraw' pattern in couples conflict is BEST described as:

Answer: One partner pursuing engagement while the other distances, creating a chase cycle

The demand-withdraw pattern involves one partner pressing for discussion or change while the other retreats, and this pursuer-distancer cycle often intensifies as each partner's behavior triggers the other's.

A client describes their partner as someone who always says 'fine' during arguments but then acts resentful for days afterward. This behavior is an example of:

Answer: Passive aggression

Passive aggression involves indirect expression of hostility through behaviors like feigned compliance followed by silent resentment, rather than direct communication of feelings or needs.

According to the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, which conflict style is HIGH in both assertiveness and cooperativeness?

Answer: Collaborating

The collaborating style on the TKI is high in both assertiveness (pursuing one's own concerns) and cooperativeness (satisfying the other's concerns), making it the most effective style for complex issues.